Rosario Dawson in a bikini holding a garden hose. I can't think of a better summertime memory. It kind of reminds me of that sweltering August when I opened a "Lemonade and Lap Dance" stand. I was doing pretty well until the cops shut me down. To this day I still believe my mom tipped them off after dad came home smelling like Country Time and skeez. Too bad they couldn't arrest an eight-year-old. But they could send me to military school after giving my Nintendo to orphans while I cried in the back seat of the station wagon. Where was I going with this? Oh, yeah, Rosario Dawson is awkwardly hot.
Khloe Kardashian reported to the Van Nuys Courthouse to begin serving
her jail sentence for violating a probation agreement from her 2007 DUI. And, aww, look, she brought the whole family. Because getting O.J. off the hook wasn't a big enough mockery of the legal system for the Kardashians.
At any rate, let's start taking bids on when she gets out. Nicole Richie and Lindsay Lohan both served just north of 80 minutes, but Khloe's not exactly that caliber of celebrity. However, she does require those giant space cuffs used on Chewbacca in
Star Wars, so it's anyone's guess really.
EDIT: Added Kim on Jimmy Kimmel last night talking about Khloe's legal predicament
after the jump. Thanks to JMack. You're a freakin' knight.
UPDATE: Khloe's out! Time served: 173 minutes, according to
TMZ, which means she's almost exactly 50% less popular than Nicole Richie and Lindsay Lohan while still 50% taller than most women, Sasquatches and NBA guards.
Khloe Kardashian reported to Van Nuys jail today with her family in tow to begin her 30 day sentence for violating probation. She was booked, had her mugshot taken and lied about her weight (5′10”, 145 lbs). 173 minutes later, she was free. A spokesperson for the jail said that Khloe’s complimentary fruit basket and massage will be arriving shortly.
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Lindsay Lohan attended the Sephora 10 Years of Gorgeous event last night to watch her girlfriend Samantha Ronson deejay. Anybody else starting to get really creeped out by this relationship? It almost seems like Samantha is a gargoyle that hangs on Lindsay and wards of predators with her fangs and leathery wings. And by predators I mean anyone with a penis. KA-KAW! KA-KAW! Wait, bat-women don't make that sound. PEW! PEW! PEW! Much better.
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